CULTURE: What I really learned from old cocktail books

Old martini recipes are great, writes Adam McDowell, but did you know gin gets dog urine out of carpets?

More than a decade has passed since David Wondrich’s book Imbibe! encouraged bartenders to blow the dust off cocktail books from the past decades and centuries.

Now that this great scramble is complete, and the excitement has abated for primordial recipes — the first martini! the original smash! etc. — it’s worth revisiting these volumes to unearth treasures we overlooked on the first pass.

Because honestly, there’s some weird shit in these books: Material that’s not only amusing to read, but that serves as a window into the curious history of the American-style saloon bar.   

Some of it will puzzle you at first. Why does Franz Meier’s The Artistry of Mixing Drinks (1936) contain such a thick back section, jammed with trivia and general purpose information? Some of it would have been useful to the manager of a busy hotel bar of that era — a list of recent Bordeaux vintages by quality, for example (smart wine buyers avoid the “very poor” clarets of 1915). But why a brief history of horse racing? Why does a cocktail book require a map of all the time zones, or information on the estimated weight of the Earth?

Well, close your eyes and imagine tending bar in the 1930s. It’s easy to forget now, but in the pre-smartphone era, strangers spoke with each other at drinking establishments. A bartender might have been called upon to referee disagreements (and wagers).

Then again, some of the material you’ll run across in the cocktail canon truly is random. The authors may be long gone, but we they have left their hobby horses, hangups, and helpful hints for posterity.

The point is, there’s wisdom hidden away in old bar books has nothing to do with drinks. Here are some of our favourite examples.

How to avoid drowning (metaphorically): “To know how to drink is as essential as knowing how to swim, and one should be at home in both these closely related elements.” (AMD — see legend below for references**)

How to avoid drowning (literally): “[Step] 1. Loosen clothing if any.” (AMD)

On entertaining at home: “It is always safest to ask your guests what they would like to drink. If they say they don’t mind, that means they want Champagne.” (SCB)

On job interview etiquette: “A bartender inquiring for a position should be clean-shaven, with clothes well-brushed, and shoes blacked; and should not speak to the proprietor with a cigar in his mouth” (HJBM)

It’s true, we suck: “Speak very well of every one if you speak of him at all. None of us are so very good.” (WDHMT)

Good to know: “One-sixth of tensible [sic] strength of plate multiplied by thickness of plate and divided by one-half of the diameter of boiler gives safe working pressure for tubular boilers.” (AMD)

On statecraft: “If a nation hath not greatness then it never can be great / For there’s nothing like to virtue in the building of a state.” (B&C)

What people eat — German edition: “The proprietor should suit the style of lunch to the patrons, whether they be Germans, Americans, or Irish, and while the first-named may be pleased with ‘sauer-kraut’ and bologna, it is probable the other classes will not care for that special menu.” (HJBM)

What people eat — bad sandwich edition:  “Mash a Banana, add Lemon juice to suit taste, spread slices of brown bread and butter with soft Cheese, and sandwich together with banana mixture.” (AMD)

Above: William “Cocktail” Boothby put some truly alarming things in his book.

Handy household tip: “To remove dog urine from carpets or rugs … Rub with gin.” (AMD)

Your tongue is the best doctor:  “If it is coated after drinking beer, and not coated after drinking whiskey, leave beer alone. If it is coated after drinking whiskey, and not coated after drinking beer, leave whiskey alone. If it is coated after drinking both, leave both alone.” (TM)

On tact: “When ... your tailor pays you a formal call with a view to obtaining a reduction of your credit with him, you will not appease him by offering to split a bottle of Champagne with him, pleading the ghastliness of your poverty all the while.” (SCB)

Who needs kettle sours?: “Add a few handfuls of pickled cucumbers and Seville oranges, both chopped up. This will make malt liquor appear six months older than it really is.” (WDHMT)

Ain’t it the truth? “A good bartender don’t have to prove his wisdom.” (WDHMT)

**LEGEND:

AMD: The Artistry of Mixing Drinks, Franz Meier (1936)
B&C: Bartenders and Cocktails, Harry McElhone (1927)
HJBM: Harry Johnson’s Bartenders’ Manual and Guide For Hotels and Restaurants (1882, revised 1900)
SCB: The Savoy Cocktail Book, Harry Craddock (1930)
TM: The Mixicologist, C.F. Lawlor (1885)
WDHMT: The World’s Drinks and How to Mix Them, William “Cocktail” Boothby (1908)